Sunlight and Autumn
by Poemwriter98
Summary: Merlin and Arthur describe each other. I don't own anyone!
1. Summer Sunlight

Arthur's POV:

Merlin was like the sunlight shining on your face in Summer. Warm, and brilliant. He had his moments where he was like the sunlight in winter, not really able to warm anything, just reflecting off the snow. But that was only when others he cared about were hurting. He shone, like the sun, and it would've burned your eyes if he weren't shining with goodness, with beauty. He was easy to trust, easy to love, with that naïve smile that he always wore. There were _many _reasons I loved him, but the most prominent was how he made me feel. He made me feel like the sun was shining on me, and the wind was blowing as if it were spring, and that nothing bad could ever come near me. But that was Merlin, always protecting, always loving. Then came the day where his endless protection ended his own life. I buried the man I loved beneath a large oak tree, thinking about how the steadiness, the sturdiness of the tree was exactly like _Merlin. _I buried him, and gave into my regrets and my tears. I had never told him I loved him, but I was sure that he knew, somehow. He looked at me often, his wise young eyes almost seeing through me, seeing the truth. I loved seeing his eyes, his blue eyes, almost exactly like the sky in Summer. They danced with humor, with laughter. Except for when Will died, and they faded into pale imitations of the way they usually were, and filled with tears. That isn't how I will remember him, though. I'll remember him as the laughing, happy man who was always by my side, always watching out for me, and will always be with me.

"I love you, Merlin." I whispered, placing his emaciated body in the ground. I looked down at him for the last time, the quietness of the grave where he lay overpowering my senses. I wanted to lie down in there next to him, be covered in dirt myself, and never wake up, never leave Merlin's side.


	2. Autumn, Not Winter

Merlin's POV:

Arthur was like Autumn, crisp as the fallen leaves beneath your feet and he smelled like the forest did when Autumn came to its door. He was red and yellow, blazing like the leaves before they fell off the trees. His smile was contagious, even though he didn't show it often, always feeling like he had to be his father, an emotionless man, always doing what his father thought was right. But there were times, beautiful and wonderful times, when he showed me who he really was behind the mask. He was kind, and caring, and brave. He never wanted anything bad to happen to anyone, especially the people he cared about the most, and especially Camelot. He showed how much he cared in the worried glances he gave people, in the way he stood on the roof of the castle and looked out over the city, and when there was a plague on Camelot, the way he tried his hardest to stop it. How he sacrificed his life for _me_, who was only his servant. He never knew, but I was his protector, and had sworn to myself that I'd protect him forever, while saying that I'd be his servant until the day I die. Turns out, that day came sooner then either of us expected. I died in his arms, which was exactly the way I wanted to go-not alone, but in the arms of someone who I loved and who loved me back. He carried my body to an ancient oak tree and dug the grave by himself. I missed him, I still loved him, and I promised him, silently, that even though I was no longer visible to him, I'd never leave. I remembered all the times we were together, the way he smiled and how heart broken he looked, but determined, when he drank the goblet full of poison for me. He was my Autumn, and he'd always be my Autumn, never Winter. He was beautiful, and strong. I loved him with every ounce of my being, enough to live for him, enough to die for him. I knew that he would hurt after I died, but eventually, he'd be fine. We'd meet in Avalon one day, and be together forever.


	3. Living Without You

Arthur's POV:

Merlin told me that I was like Autumn to him, and he loved that. He told me I was the color of the leaves before they fell onto the ground and that I was beautiful. Even though he was gone, I could still feel him around me all the time. Every time the wind blew, I could almost hear Merlin telling me he loved me and that he was willing to be my servant until the day he died. Every time this happened, I had to close my eyes to prevent the tears from coming. The only place I permitted myself to cry was alone in my room, late at night. The room where Merlin and I had spent so much time laughing and talking in, just enjoying each other's presence. Before, I couldn't imagine my life without Merlin's warmth. He made every day bright and joyous, and without him, the sun felt harsh and cruel. I know Morgana and Gwen wondered what was going on with me, but they had never known that I loved Merlin more than anything else, even more then life itself. The one thing about Merlin that confused me a tiny bit-no matter how cold he said he felt, his hands were always really warm. I loved to hold his hands in between mine, feeling them shake when he was scared, or abnormally cold. I didn't love those last two as much, but I loved that I was able to hold him and all our fears would be gone. After Merlin's death, I went to his room, gathered his neckerchiefs and clothes, and carried them to my room as a reminder of what I had loved and what I had lost. I put them in my closet, behind my other clothes, carefully hiding them so no one else would find them. I grabbed one of the red neckerchiefs, quickly tying it off around my neck. After I did that, I took my horse, Eshe, and rode off towards Merlin's grave. Dismounting when I reached the oak, I knelt at the end of his grave.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I love you so much. I don't know how I'm going to survive without you." I whispered, and I could almost hear his answer. He was berating me, telling me that I had to go on and survive without him, and that he'd always be there, but I wouldn't always be able to see him.

"I miss you so much, though. I don't _want _to go on without you. I want to be with you, forever." I murmured.


	4. Hollow

Merlin's POV:

I saw Arthur take my clothing and bring it to his room, and put on a neckerchief of mine. I loved the gesture, but it also made me extremely sad. Because I could understand how he was feeling, and what how he was feeling would make him want to do. I couldn't let him, though. He needed to live, become king, and unite Albion. I had sacrificed myself so he could do that, and be the king that I know he's supposed to be. Arthur was like Autumn, but his grief and pain were making him gain hints of Winter, the cold and barren season. I saw him kneel in front of my grave, the grave that he so carefully laid me in. I heard him say how much he loved me, how much he missed me. I missed him too, but we weren't ready to be reunited.

"Arthur, you can't do this. You need to become king, Arthur!" I frantically whispered, knowing he couldn't hear me. But perhaps he sensed me, because he looked around.

"Merlin?" Arthur softly said.

"Yes, I'm here. I love you, Arthur, and I miss you, but I'll never be far." I replied, praying that my message would get through. Arthur looked around, shook his head, and then lay down next to my grave. I knew almost exactly what was going through his head, that he was imagining my voice. But he wasn't, and I was desperate to prove it. I hadn't thought of my magic in a while, assuming that after I died, I either wouldn't have any need for it or be unable to do it. I whispered a few words, and two roses were suddenly lying next to Arthur.

"Merlin?" Arthur whispered again, looking around. He reached his fingers out to touch the roses, and then smiled before curling up and starting to cry. I kneeled next to him, wishing I could touch him, could comfort him. Arthur finished letting his tears out, hid his pain behind that collected mask, and started back towards the castle. I followed him, even getting on the back of the horse with him. The horse seemed to sense this and became a bit uneasy, but Arthur quickly calmed her. We arrived at the castle in time for dinner to be over, which made me feel a bit guilty. Arthur went straight to Morgana's room, and knocked gently on her door.

"Come in!" Morgana said. Arthur walked in, and I followed him.

"Gwen, please leave us." Arthur murmured. Morgana sent Arthur a puzzled look, then told Gwen it was alright to leave them alone.

"Morgana, I just wanted to tell you, that you're an amazing person, and I'm glad that I got to know you. Oh, and Merlin's…buried under a large oak tree in the forest. Will you please take care of his grave for me? Oh, and Morgana, if anything ever happens to me in the future, after Father is dead, I want you to rule." Arthur whispered.

"Arthur, what? What are you planning to do?" Morgana asked, worry creased into her face.

"Nothing, Morgana. Just in case, though, I want you to be queen. Do you have any paper?" Arthur inquired.

"Yes, I do." Morgana replied, handing Arthur a piece of paper and quill. Arthur started to write, and I leaned over his shoulder to see what it said.

_I, Arthur Pendragon, Son of Uther and Igraine Pendragon, command that if anything shall happen to me and I shall become deceased, Morgana is to be queen. _

_In the case that I become deceased, I want to be buried next to Merlin, under the oak tree in the forest. _

_Arthur Pendragon, heir to the throne._

Arthur handed the note to Morgana and she took it, her eyes full of tears.

"Arthur you really loved Merlin, didn't you? Take care of yourself." Morgana whispered.

"I loved Merlin more then anything, even more then my own life. I will, Morgana. Goodbye." Arthur murmured, hugging Morgana tightly.

"Goodbye, Arthur." Morgana answered, tears streaming down her face. Arthur left her room, his eyes slightly damp. He went back to his chambers, sat down at his table, and started to write another letter.

_Father, I'm sorry that I did this to you and to Camelot. There are some things that even time cannot fix, and I can't be around to see time fail to heal my wounds. I love my manservant, even though he is dead. I love him so much that I'm going to join him. I wrote Morgana a letter, but told her not to open it until tomorrow. By the time she reads it, I'll be gone. I want to be buried with Merlin, under the oak tree in the forest, where I lay his body to rest. I want Morgana to be queen. She will rule with strength but with compassion. _

_Your son, Arthur Pendragon_

Arthur finished the letter, folded it up, and left it on the table, where it would be found. He felt at his waist for a dagger, then left Camelot one last time. He saddled Eshe, not having the strength to have anyone but myself do chores for him. We rode away from Camelot, and headed for my grave one last time. Arthur lay down next to my grave, one of his hands pressing the stem of the rose to his chest, while the other lay on my grave still. Arthur picked up his dagger and stabbed himself in the chest, and I felt a sharp stab of pain and could feel tears come to my eyes. I watched Arthur die, knowing that there was nothing I could do, no matter how much I wanted to save him. After Arthur's breathing stilled, I looked around for him. There he was, striding confidently through the trees, his eyes bright, no longer hollow with grief and sadness.


	5. All of Eternity

This is the last chapter in Sunlight and Autumn. I'd like to thank Eco Lin and Nimi1611 for the amazing reviews which made my day.

Arthur's POV:

"Merlin, my love." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him. He pressed his lips against mine, and I could feel the tinge of sadness emanating from him.

"I wish you hadn't done that, Arthur." Merlin murmured.

"Merlin, I couldn't live without you. Without you, I wasn't even alive." I said.

"I know, Arthur." Merlin replied.

"Did you make those roses appear?" I asked.

"Yes, I did." Merlin answered, smiling. Soon after he said that, my father came riding through to where Merlin was buried.

"Arthur!" Father cried, clumsily dismounting. He raced over to my body, and cradled it in his arms. I bit my lip, feeling awful about how much I had hurt him.

"Arthur, no." He whispered, crying openly. I knelt next to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was almost as if he felt me there, because he shuddered slightly and looked right where I was. Father carried my body back to his horse, and then rode back to Camelot. Merlin and I followed, and when we got there, Uther had put my body in my rooms and was talking to the people.

"Prince Arthur was killed by bandits. He shall be buried in the forest." Father said. I saw Morgana standing at her window, Gwen behind her, both of them with red-rimmed eyes, hollow with grief. I knew that I had hurt both of them, but it was for the best. Morgana would make a wonderful queen, when the time came. She would be compassionate enough to return magic to the kingdom. A few days later, my funeral was held. I was buried next to Merlin, and Morgana, Gwen, Hunith and my father were there. Morgana, Hunith, Gwen and my Father cried; the latter of which was surprising. After I was buried, my Father, Uther Pendragon, kneeled at the end of my grave, and asked me to forgive him for not always being there. I nodded, and then they all left. Morgana gave our graves one last grief ridden look, then placed a rose on my grave, to match the one on Merlin's. Merlin and I watched them leave, and then I felt a tingling in my limbs.

"Do you feel that, Merlin?" I inquired.

"Yes, I do. Avalon is calling us." Merlin said. I closed my eyes, took Merlin's hand, and waited for the tingling to stop. It did after a while, and I opened my eyes. In front of Merlin and I was what I assumed Avalon, beautiful and lushly green, mountains rising in the distance. It was an endless paradise, and we were going to be there together _forever_. Merlin and I started walking towards the mountains, intent on finding out as much as possible.

"Merlin, I'm so glad that I'm with you." I whispered.

"I'm glad that you're here too, Arthur." Merlin replied, and then kissed me. There was nothing better then being in Avalon with the man I loved, for all of eternity.


End file.
